Therand: Hello everybody!
Ignus: Hi Therand...
Willow: Hi Therand...
Therand: What's wrong? Why does everyone seem so distraught?
Selwyn: Haven't you heard? The Dungeon Boss school mascot - Rogar - is dead!
Therand: Oh no! Dead? But how?
Selwyn: The professors all say he was walking in the courtyard, next to the marble walls, when someone from up on the walls dropped an explosive barrel on him.
Therand: That's terrible! Who would do such a thing?
Willow: It's true. They say the person who dropped it must've been a Water hero with Armor Hunter, because the damage was so severe. The people who found him didn't even recognize him as Rogar at first.
Ignus: I swear... if I find the culprit, I'll... I'll...
Selwyn: It's okay, Ignus. Let it out. We know you can't actually hurt anyone, so you might as well yell about it now.
Ignus: I... I want to sing a song in memory of Rogar...
Willow: Your songs suck.
Therand: Yeah no offense but she's right. Your songs totally blow. They're like, all over-done songs from the 90's and early 2000's that nobody really likes anymore.
Ignus, very off tone: CuZ AfTeRR AaaALll... YoUR'E mY fIRe WAll....
Selwyn: For the love of Kang-Kung, stop it! My ears can't take anymore!
Willow: Aaaa! My ears are bleeding!
Therand: I'll shut him up! *Therand throws an explosive barrel at Ignus, dazing him*
Selwyn: Well, that's a bit better at least. Wait... where'd you get that barrel?
Willow: Yeah... looks a lot like the type of barrel they said killed Rogar...
Therand: What? That's not true! I- I- Uhm, I must've just bought it from the same store as that evil-doer! That scoundrel! You know what!? I'll boycott the store now! I'm not going to by anything! Until Rogar is avenged! Because I didn't kill him and I want to see justice done! As someone who didn't kill a person would! I won't even sleep now until Rogar's case is solved! Mark my words! We will avenge Rogar! I SWEAR IT!!
Selwyn: O...kay then...
Willow: Ssssoooo... anyone want to help me find a new mascot for Dungeon Boss school? I heard there's a little Light hero who looks just like Rogar!
Selwyn: Oh, for Sulfurious' sake! *Selwyn freezes Ignus*
Therand: I'll help! I'm just dying to find a new victi- er, mascot!
Willow: What about you, Selwyn? Don't you want to find a new mascot too?
Selwyn: Well... I don't think I'm quite over Rogar yet. He was such a kind fellow. Always beat me at baseball though...
Willow: Oh, alright then! Let's go, Therand!
*Willow and Therand leave*
Selwyn: Hmmpf. Just you and me now, frozen Ignus. Say, what do you do for a hobby? I know a great bowling alley just down the street run by Grog-Gnog. Me and him are best pals, so I could get us in for free, probably! Wouldn't that just be swell? Whattya say? Oh, and they make the best hotdogs and fries too! Oh, it'll be a blast!
Selwyn: That's why I like you, Ignus! You're always on board with me! To tell you the truth, an old geezer like me... we don't get to do much fun stuff anymore. At least, not with a friend. I'm glad you're always there for me, Ignus! Hey, speaking of always being there for me, I'm gonna need help with my monthly bath later today, and since Rogar used to be the only one who helped me, do you think you'd be up to the task?
Ignus: HHHHHMMMMPPHH!! HHMMMFF HHMMMPHH!!!
Selwyn: Oh, I knew you'd be willing and able! Ignus, you're the best pal this old man could ask for! Oh, and don't worry about being frozen in ice, I take my baths extra warm and steamy to get all the dead skin off me! I'll just throw you right in and we'll both sit in the tub and chat until you're thawed out!
Selwyn: Welp, off we go!
*Selwyn leaves, dragging Ignus behind him*