A brief history of dungeon boss metas (starting with kai) inspired by and written loosely in the format of “There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly”.
There was an old lady who swallowed a kai, and no one really understood why,
But it caused chaos and needed a fix, So she found some women to add to the mix.
That didn’t work, now back to square one. Maybe a snake or two will make that kai run!
Shocker: the snakes didn’t work, but their bite caused much pain, we need something more to end this Kai’s reign!
So she took nasal spray and a big purple pill, and it looks like that combo may fit the bill!
Yes, kai was fixed, and to this day he’s still weak, but now we’ve got a problem that’s five times as bleak!
Think, lady, think! What can you do? Dwarves, that’s it! Another snake, too!
However, all of them fell in one fatal punch, Kozar and zen ate those weaklings for lunch.
Mouth wide open in utter disbelief, All she could say was “where is relief?”
“I can help” said a man from the shadows.
No, actually, he was the shadows. Cool.
Anyhow, this shadow sure was effective, Murdering kozars like they were defective.
But what she failed to see was that shade would hurt the most, and the “Lady Who Swalloed A Kai” became the “Lady with a ghost”
So she swallowed a lion, er, manticore thing. He had fire breath, and a nasty poison sting,
But it didn’t really help, in fact it made things even worse, And soon it felt like the lady had a curse.
“Fear not, Said the doctor, “We have given you lily!” But the idea of a plant against fire was quite silly.
Remember her, though. She comes in a bit later, for now just know she makes the great even greater.
Her next meal is a dragon, fight fire with fire! The updraft made flying friends soar higher and higher.
This helped a little, but not near enough. So she continued to eat, you know, bunnies and stuff.
A brief little lion meta pops into existence, but bunnies don’t like anti-shade resistance.
A turkey is next, something normal, it seems. But wait! There’s more! It revives whole teams.
Now, the beasts are mad that they’ve lived in the dark, and this is a chance to at last make their mark
By this point we thought that the lady was crazy, or maybe, (more likely), she was just lazy.
But what she did next was just plain confusing. Another beast ripe for abusing.
It made the strong beast bug stronger, and the battles last longer.
Now here with the beasts is where lily gets her chance, bringing vines, great hair, and a staff to enhance.
Soon that green dragon rejoined the party, Ugly as ever but made the beasts yet more hardy.
“Open up” says a big brutish rock, “I’ve got two fists and heads to knock”
The lady gladly complied, he’ll kill the plant, she thought, but he just kind of joined her in most battles she fought.
But wait! You think I forgot the undead. I didn’t, I just liked that update and left it unsaid.
Almost defeated, the lady swallows one last thing: a big, ruffian barbarian king.
I wonder how that will work...